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  • Writer's pictureJack Martindale

Perpetual Deja-Vu

Well there’s nothing new to say as to the unqualified end of the ubiquitous subject is there? And I don’t feel that I should even need to introduce the topic in any specified way either. COVID-19 has been long infiltrated so well upon everybody’s lips. Stifling any tangible sense of when the future will arrive, we’ve been forced to inhabit this incomplete present.

Forced to orbit around this husk of a well-functioning society, we’ve been forced to cling to idealized image of returning to the past to gain any solace. This seems to the reverse of a healthy human psyche, where your aspiration is a return to something so in yearning for any improvement the current situation.

Recognising and acknowledging the fortune of my own position is something that I feel I have to do here. Physically at least, I am in tip-top shape. Indeed, Strava runs, cooking and keeping as in touch with the world and people in it the best I can, is a principal element of what’s keeping me going. It is just a state of affairs in which I find that it is difficult not to stagnate at times.

Activities are something so integral to shaping my life and managing time in being away from home. Fundamental to having any concept of time passing in maximising your fulfillment of life isn’t it? Of course there are those luxurious treats of allowing yourself to completely detach yourself to a welcome degree from reality and being free of the usual pace of your life. This will more often than not be down the pub in my case and please forgive any insensitivity in my mentioning this pivotal bastion of normality at a time where we’re so divorced from being able to support them! I give so enthusiastically, applying myself with such consistency to support this cause.

It is trips out into the world – however limited, be it to the shops or a café around the corner from your home – that are needed to draw points of interest and discussion as we progress through life. With such limited exposure to other people that we know free from using a device, all just seems to have become so confined.

Again I feel an urgency of a need to state how I do celebrate in considering myself to be one of the lucky ones, in having had no issues with my health and being able to be financially stable throughout this grim episode of our lives. Worse things could always happen! Though this is admittedly not much consolation if you’ve lost a loved one or found yourself out of work. The deja-vu that I am experiencing is admittedly a luxury.

Testament to all in life being so bland at the moment, is how much I am looking forward to doing those most mundane and inconvenient chores of life. I don’t quite have to disclose any looking forward to such tasks as cleaning the bathroom or mopping the kitchen floor of my flat, but just having to get up at 6am to commute for an early-shift at work and read on the train, is something genuinely missed.

There is just nothing concrete in my life so much to divide time at the minute. All blends into one. It is just so difficult to distinguish between, say yesterday and a day 2 weeks ago. The paradox of things moving so slowly making things a less descript memory seeming so long ago, but no real time at all. As with for instance, Zoom-ng friends, impossibility is something with which I would find to gauge from memory whether a conversation happened 3 days or 3 weeks ago!

Perhaps this is a slight exaggeration, but it feels as though such a wealth of time in no-man (or woman)’s land has done this to us. We are just able to have existences rather than actual lives at the moment; so it seems.

Anyway, shoot me on the spot for daring to imply that we have to be progressing significantly to at least a less restricted state of lock-down before too long. Can only commend and admire how cooperative and obedient the mass population seems to have been overall in understanding the importance of the lock-down, but there has to be limit as to how much people can take.

We’ve all got mouths to feed and shelter from the elements, we just need some tangible way of knowing that our access to these essential commodities will not be brought under question by Corona Virus. Widely open testing and fully open (including the amount of care home fatalities!) have to be needed in terms of being able to answer the current equivalent of ‘how long’s a piece of string?’ question in being able to testify to s being able to look beyond the current commotion.

g4&�g~� �S

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