• Jack Martindale

Happy Jubiee Queenie: now please leave us your homes



Queenie’s kept the archaic throne warm for 70 years; it’s about time that Liz did her bit in expressing her gratitude by converting her palaces into Local Authority [Council] homes and residing it them amongst us commoners. To say that this should diminish the opulence and grandeur of the palaces is something that I find insulting. The Royal Homes should than have a function that significantly serve and function as opposed to drain from society.


Being a monarch has to be one of the most bizarre feats. Being the representation of a bunch of weirdoes is perhaps a most identifiable facet of British identity! As Republican as I am in my respect of democracy, I have nothing against Queen Elizabeth II. Going with the theme, I’ll keep with the style of Received Pronunciation in expressing how one cannot help what they are born into.


Well of course they cannot and in this respect, I almost even have a real sympathy with being thrown into being cast aside from contemporaries for absolutely no reason based on any merit. In automatically having a higher status; impossible to truly appreciate the exclusivity of when you know no different. Yes, it is a sense of true privilege, but it does also ring true of serving a prison sentence (not quite making-up for her sex-pest son [Andrew] walking free) in always having to perform in supposedly serving other people.


Let’s hang all this ridiculous notion that a Royal Family brings in more for this country than it loses, because it does not wash. Who comes back from the United States of America, France, Germany, Southern Ireland etc. feeling that there trip was dampened through the country’s lack of a regal representative? Without being facetious, it is just a ridiculous concept. Barbados is a most recent example of a member of Commonwealth to free itself of the last shackles of empire in freeing itself of being represented by our Royal Family as sovereign and it perfectly symbolizes the irrelevance of monarchy on a country’s wellbeing and prosperity.


A Caribbean example is most fitting in representing what I see having a monarch to be the most fitting representation of: exploitation. Of course Barbados was the birthplace of British Slavery, in being the first enslaved nation in the Seventeenth Century. I can’t just be me that finds it bitterly ironic in analyzing our attitude to the grotesque legacy of slavery. For example, we remove shameful traces of the United Kingdom’s irrefutable bloody history in removing the statues representing the legacy in statues such as Edward Colston in Bristol and Robert Geffrye in London’s Shoreditch, yet still salute the pinnacle of this movement’s representation: our monarch. It’s a bit like the understanding of control that the modern world is left with in not quite daring ton emancipate itself from, as in contemporary religion; you just pick n’ mix what to focus on to suit an agenda!


Of course, you can’t blame the Royal Family for feasts of the past any longer. Otherwise, I think that any white inhabitant of a developed country would need to spend a lifetime atoning for the sins of their past that we’re undoubtedly still profiting from. Perhaps this is why we middle-class do-gooders get up my nose almost more than anybody else in somehow interpreting that provided that they vocally slate and chastise these figures from our past, it somehow negates their tremendous privilege. The irony of vocally denouncing powerful figures in the past whilst exemplifying elitism is beyond painstaking. This is why I feel that it should be anachronistic to hold anybody personally responsible for the social position that they are born into. In this respect, it could be said that automatically disliking the Royals is hardly any different to inverted racism.


This Platinum Jubilee should be a fine example to celebrate the longevity of Queen Elizabeth II in reflecting on all of the tremendous advancements and progressions that this country has made over the time. I just feel that you should secure history’s fine opinion of you by in your will, leaving all of your palaces and land to contribute in easing the housing crisis in housing your citizens!



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