• Jack Martindale

Global Kiss-Off


As tiresome as it can be found, the extent of frustrations, queries and even just doubts about absolutely everything have rippled through the entirety of the COVID-19 pandemic. This is far from any criticism or even any surprise or to be avoided. But this is not something that I feel qualified or able to offer any informed opinion.


Regardless of how necessary and important it is for us all to be able to access as much information as possible, it is an incredibly boring substitute for the lifestyles that we’ve been removed from. We’ve all seemed to generally muddle through this crisis majestically thus far; Dominic Cummings and the Government‘s cronies cast aside. Now that we’ve reached well into the point of lock-down easing and glimmers life are not so far from being back to anything resembling normal – wait until the pubs are back properly open to even pretend that this has truly arrived – subtle behavioral differences can be so noticeable.


It does feel so wonderful to be able to actually connect with friends and family free of a computer or device. They say something of the like that only around 10% or so of communication is verbal anyway and although we are able to see clear and accurate representations of each other on screen, key dimensions of person-to-person interaction is obsolete. Beyond issues such as time delay and clarity issues, I just find it the whole process awkward. Of course it’s definitely better than nothing, but I just find it so stilted and embarrassing in that everything that you ever say is to the entire group and I can feel self-conscious in evaluating the relevance along with importance of absolutely everything that I utter. Not being able to naturally branch off and have detailed conversations with select people about topics that particularly interest you feels beyond limiting. Anyway, it’s all just a phase and we can only make the best of the cards we’ve been dealt and recognise that once mentioned, there is little point in dwelling on negativity is there?


This acts as a gateway in bringing-up the salient absence of a trend that this piece of writing was inspired upon… That is the fact that a principle difference in meeting mates, is that we’re not able to hug or kiss each other. Well I’ll be honest and say that this is not an element of social life that I could claim to actually miss!


I mean, don’t get me wrong, embracing each other often feels like a pleasant enough gesture to make and I don’t mind I’m not quite stiff upper lipped enough a Brit in objecting to being tactile. That is not to say that it is something that never feels formulaic, insincere and another manufactured box to tick in polite society. It’s not even clear-cut in itself.

How many times have we all (maybe it is just me!) misjudged a situation on either end of the spectrum and came across as cold or overly friendly, when all you’re really meaning to do is just acknowledge that you’re arriving or leaving in getting on with life in your separate ways, right.


Then there comes an added complication is terms of “one kiss” or “two kisses”? Talk about “kiss-Off” complications come a plenty in this existence and for reserved people, the tribulations of what’s supposedly anticipated of us by other people and it is in the most abstract and indecipherable terms.

So if social time is saved through the abandonment of meaninglessly kissing one another “hello” or “goodbye” is eradicated long term as a consequence of our social distancing, so as not to spread COVID-19 then so be it!

As for now, I wish that we could just focus on positive outcomes that could come from this appallingly grotesque world health situation. We really have had to be witness to so much unprecedented tragedy. Let’s just hope that positivity can spur us all on to create a more optimistic and fair society.


Already, I feel that “Black Lives Matter” has succeeded in demonstrating such an overdue removing us all from our cosseted perception, in having to acknowledge the inbuilt institutional racism that our capitalism gives such privy. Hopefully we can steal something uplifting from COVID-19 overthrowing the licensed selfishness upon which we have been imbued with an inoperable Conservative Government that along with being a symbol of, yearns towards a corrupt system of inequality. I Hope that from this ghastly episode can prove that looking after yourself above others is never to be celebrated.


Catastrophe provides me with an excuse – which I never much need – to be corny in looking forward to the lack of physical that we can plant on one another at the moment, translating into a Prince equivalent kiss of life that we can plant upon the world and bolster into a healthier state of progression.

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